The Murray Method book by Marilyn Murray describes the unique method that can help people become free from their old traumatic experiences. Most of which usually comes from childhood. Things like traumas, abuse, neglect, and deprivation. The book can be used for different levels of intensity of these traumatic experiences from minor situations that still have some influence on you and your life to serious traumas.
The goal of the book is to help you to become a healthy balanced person and to use your whole potential to get the maximum from this life and achieve what you want.
In this post you can read my The Murray Method Review. I will also share my own experience and results that I’ve got from reading the book and using the Murray Method.
In the book, you can find all the information about the method, the theory behind it, and the story of the author. Marilyn Murray is a successful psychotherapist, and she created the method, that is used worldwide. It has proved to be helpful for many people and is used by different psychologists, psychotherapists, and other practitioners.
In the book, Marilyn Murray tells her story about her past and trauma. She shares what she went through and how she healed. She also tells how she created the Murray Method and how she is using it to help other people.
One of the main ideas is that each of us has an inner child. Marilyn Murray calls it the original child. It is a person that we meant to be before we faced some traumatic experience that we couldn’t deal with in a healthy way and instead created some defensive mechanisms. Sometimes this mechanism can work in one simple way. It is just blocking all the feelings about this traumatic situation in the past and in some cases even memories. In this case, the trauma is hidden deeply in our subconscious mind and we pretend as nothing happened.
Even if you don’t remember much about your childhood traumas, they can still influence your life. In this case, it’s better to do something about it, so you can move forward with your life.
There is a lot of information in the book, that can help you to understand if there is any influence from the past or not. The main goal of the method is to become a healthy balanced person. Marilyn Murray explains what it means, how to become one, and how to understand where you are now in this healing journey.
Many people don’t know or don’t remember if they have any childhood traumas. The book will help to understand it. But one of the signs is some repeated problem in your present life. When you see that you’ve done a lot, you’ve tried different approaches, but you still feel stuck with a similar problem, that happens again and again. It could be in any area of your life: relationship, job and career, or even a health issue.
I will not go into too many details about the book and the method, but I want to share one more thing before to tell you about my results.
2. Emotional Deprivation
Emotional deprivation is a type of trauma, that is not often recognized by people because it seems like nothing or minor compare to real abuse. But what is emotional deprivation? For example, your parents were taking care of you and giving you all you needed, but only on a physical level: food, home, clothes, educations, etc. If meanwhile, they didn’t satisfy your emotional needs, that is where we can talk about emotional deprivation. In these cases, children can feel that they are not loved or not needed. Young children can even feel abounded when their parents can’t spend enough time with them because of the work.
In the book, Marilyn writes about emotional deprivation and how it can influence someone’s life. She also tells the story of her friend who experienced that specific childhood trauma. Marilyn Murray was a victim of real abuse while her friend suffered from emotional deprivation. Nevertheless, they both had a significant impact on their adult life from their childhood experience.
The main problems of emotional deprivation are that it is difficult to catch and, as a result, to heal. There is no specific moment in the past which you can work with. You can’t just go back to one situation, go through these emotions, relieve them, slowly get rid of all these blocked feelings, and go through stages of forgiveness.
The trauma of emotional deprivation is spread over a long period. Many minor but repeated situations and feelings were accumulating with years. That’s what makes it difficult to heal. Also, people may think, that they had quite good childhood compare to others. They may not even think, that the problems in their present life could be easily caused by this past experience. This book can encourage these people to help themselves by doing some work to heal their traumas. Even at first, it is very difficult to see that emotional deprivation can have such a big impact on our life.
3. Become Free from Your Past
In the book, you can find all the information about how childhood traumas happen, what is the mechanism, how and why they influence people in their adult life. Children can experience some minor issues as severe trauma because they don’t have enough recourses or knowledge to handle stressful situations in a healthy way. All the emotions and feelings that were not processed become blocked in the subconscious mind.
Each of us has something that Marilyn Murray calls the pool of pain. It contains all these blocked feelings and emotions that we couldn’t process, sometimes memories about the situations that caused these feelings.
The good news is that you can become free from your pool of pain. And the book explains how and gives all the tools and information that you need. Once you do it, you start getting more recourses and more energy. Before they were used to suppress memories and feelings caused by the traumatic experience in childhood. This is how our defense mechanisms work. It hides from us what it considers as a danger. There is a reason for that. When we are young children, we can’t handle certain situations. It is the right thing to block them and to hide them. But when we are adults, we can finally deal with it. By resolving these issues, you’ll become much freer. You will have more energy and a better connection with your full potential.
3. My Experience and Results
Reading this book and following this method was one of the best decisions I ever made. My life changed a lot after it. Even It was not the only thing I was using for my healing and my personal growth at that moment, it still was a significant contribution. Two of my negative patterns have changed in about two months after I finished working with the book. One of them was about my job, and as a result, I stopped doing the jobs I didn’t like just to make my living. I quit my last job in the office more than four years ago.
The second change was about relationships. Before reading this book, I was not happy with the relationship that I had. There was a negative pattern that was repeating, and my previous relationship was even a bit toxic. But in several months after I went through the healing process, I met my husband. We are together for several years now, and this is a good and happy relationship.
I followed the Murray Method mostly by myself. I just had a few sessions with a psychologist. It was helpful, but I already had a useful background to go through this process. I had psychotherapy before, enough knowledge in psychology, a good understanding of my emotions, feelings, and reactions. For people, who are new to this, it may be better to find some help, if they decide to try the Murray Method.
4. The Murray Method Review: Conclusions
I don’t say, that by reading this book, all your childhood issues will disappear, and everything will be great. However, the book will give a lot of information about childhood traumas and their influence. It will help you to understand yourself better. You will get an idea if the Murray Method is something for you or not. While reading the book, you will see all the processes, that one needs to go through to heal the trauma. What you need to do to overcome these issues from the past. What you can already do to feel better. If something from what I have said resonates with you, then the book is definitely worth reading.
You can get more information about the method and buy the book on the website of the Murray Method.
In some cases people blame themselves for what have happened to them in the past. If it’s your situation check my post How to forgive yourself.