Self-love

How to forgive yourself

Are you feeling guilty for something you’ve done in the past?
Do you have some regrets? Do you wish that you can change that past? Did you hurt someone or yourself? Do you want to finally feel free from that experience and to let it go? Do you want to start moving forward?

Living with guilt is challenging. You are not really in the present and it is difficult to move forward. It’s almost impossible to feel joy or happiness when you focus on this guilt or regrets.

I’ve been there too. I was feeling guilty for more than seven years until I finally managed to let it go. And it’s just one example. Of course, I had others too.

I am Lisa, a transformational life coach. Today I want to share with you five thoughts, that can help you to forgive yourself and start feeling better:

1. You are just a human

And all humans can become too emotional in certain situations and make the wrong decisions. Maybe you did something because you couldn’t control your anger. Maybe you were too tired or overwhelmed to think clearly. Maybe your fear took control and you just couldn’t handle it. Maybe you didn’t have enough information or resources to do something differently. You need to understand that we are all humans, and we can’t always be strong and of course, we can’t always be perfect. It’s part of our nature. And you need to accept it. Otherwise, you’ll always find reasons for guilt and regrets.

2. You did the best you could

It’s not easy to look at your mistakes in this way, but usually, it’s true. You think about something that you did in your past, and you are not happy about it. You wish that you could do it differently. But the trick is that now you are not the same person you were before. You’ve changed. Maybe you understand something better, or you’ve got some new information. You may be in a different emotional state: calmer, with more energy and recourses, maybe stronger. And now you can make another choice. But in that past, you couldn’t. You did the best you could. And I am sure that you didn’t have any bad intentions. Probably your aim was stopping the pain or avoiding the pain. You didn’t want to hurt others or yourself. You didn’t want to create problems. You just wanted to feel better, and you did the best you could for this.

3. Now you can make a different choice

Forgiving yourself doesn’t mean that you are approving what you’ve done and continuing to do the same things again. Forgiving yourself means that you are becoming free from your guilt and regrets. Forgiving means understanding and accepting the past. But now, you can start making different choices. You’ve already had enough pain from your remorse. Now use it as a motivation to avoid these mistakes in the future.

4. Mistakes are part of personal growth

They help us to change, to improve, and to become stronger. A lot of shifts happen after our mistakes. So, stop punishing yourself and use your past experience for growing. You can’t change your past, but you can change your future by making new empowering decisions right now.

5. By feeling guilty, you are not helping anyone, and especially yourself

Moreover, you are making it worse. To move forward and to be happy, you need to have a different state. You can bring to this world only what you already have inside. And the first thing to do is change your state because guilt is clearly not the best choice. If you want to know more about one way to change your state, check my post about journaling. There are many helpful tips on journaling ideas that you can try. For example, how to process difficult emotions, how to feel more joy and gratitude, and some others.

And remember: you are already good enough, you deserve forgiveness, you deserve happiness and love. Don’t let your past destroy your future. Learn from your mistakes and remember that you can do much more for yourself, others, and this world once you forgive yourself.